You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
NoShamevember. You game?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize