I can't watch pbs sober anymore
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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