the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize