I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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