She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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