Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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