Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
