I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize