They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
