He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
