I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
