so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
