Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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