we have pet lesbian snakes
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
How's work?
Spinning.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
