Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
