i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
