There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
