can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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