Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
