I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
