Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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