a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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