I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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