Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
