matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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