I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
