Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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