Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you didnt know i had herpes?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Randomize
