It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
