i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he told me I talked like a deaf person
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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