College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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