I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
