Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
