she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
