Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
handjob tips. give me some.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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