i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
