i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
