Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
