I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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