Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
