Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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