i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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