you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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