Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
