shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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