the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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