32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
