it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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