Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
