I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
