watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
