Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
