well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
