he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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