just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
