people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
