last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
