Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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