DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
