I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
