We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize